Well, I can't say I can exactly describe what Moses would have felt when God hid him in the cleft of the rock and allowed him to see only His backside, but I imagine it was similar to what I felt the other day when God revealed to me what I would call a significant glimpse of His holiness. It happened as I was reading the chapter about the holiness of God in A.W. Tozer's book "The Knowledge of the Holy". I had asked God a few days earlier to let me become more acquainted with some other attributes of His nature - righteousness being one of them. On this particular day, I used Tozer's book as a sort of reference guide to the attributes of God. Tozer has identified righteousness to be a result of several of God's attributes he describes in the different chapters, rather than a stand-alone attribute. As I read the chapter about the holiness of God, I began to get a new revelation of His holiness by the Spirit of God. Here is a quote from the book that really jumped out at me:
"We cannot grasp the true meaning of the divine holiness by thinking of someone or something very pure and then raising the concept to the highest degree we are capable of. God's holiness is not simply the best we know infinitely bettered. We know nothing like the divine holiness. It stands apart, unique, unapproachable, incomprehensible and unattainable. ...Only the Spirit of the Holy One can impart to the human spirit the knowledge of the holy. ...Holy is the way God is. To be holy He does not conform to a standard. He is that standard. He is absolutely holy with an infinite, incomprehensible fullness of purity that is incapable of being other than it is."
That is when it hit me and I realized who He is and who I am. I thought, "God's holiness does not even allow him to be in the position to choose whether or not He will do something unrighteous or unholy." It was this one concept that I grasped that gave me a glimpse of His incomprehensible holiness. I'm not certain I can adequately express the fear and dread I felt at that moment, but I literally hid my face behind the book as I looked down and cried "OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD!" over and over again. It was as though he passed by me and I saw his backside. The feeling of the simultaneous realization of His holiness and my unholiness is mind-blowing and overwhelming, to say the very least. I literally begged God for my very life as I thought I would die at this realization. My eyes welled up with yet another realization of how my sin must appear to Him and how He cannot fellowship with unrighteousness.
But then He spoke to me gently by His Spirit and reminded me that when I appropriate the righteousness of Christ that it is then that we can be in fellowship. I asked Jesus to cover me in His righteousness and I began to feel peace and security as though I were being welcomed into His arms. I thank Jesus that he became the sacrifice for my sin so that I can be in fellowship with Him. This is the restoration of the joy of my salvation!
After all of this, I turned on my car to leave my "secret place". As I backed out of the space, I just shook my head in amazement of what God had shown me and said to God "wow!". His response (as I heard it in my heart) was simply, "you asked Me to reveal my holiness". I was glad He had answered my request, but at the same time I almost wished He had not. It was a terrible and frightening thing to experience. However, it has caused me to think more about my thoughts and actions and whether or not they are pleasing to God. When you understand how your sin really appears to God, or at least as much as your mind comprehends and He reveals it to you, you scrutinize your thoughts and deeds a bit more. Keeping in mind that our position in God is not based on how many good deeds we do, but rather our obedience to the leading of the Holy Spirit, which ultimately will lead us to good deeds. So perhaps I should say, this revelation I have received makes me want to be more attentive and obedient to the leading of the Spirit out of respect, fear, and honor of God and His holiness.
Allow me if you will to urge you to think more rightly about God and His holiness. I would even urge you to ask Him to give you a glimpse (or a fresh glimpse) of His holiness in the way that I did. I am concerned that too many Christians are a bit flippant and frivolous about how they think of God, how they approach Him, even how they pray and petition Him. Sure we can come boldly before the throne of Grace as the Bible says, but that boldness must be accompanied by honor, respect, and pure reverence. I believe if more Christians had more close encounters with God and His terrible presence similar to what I have experienced, the Church would look a whole lot differently and be a whole lot more effective. I will say nothing further to this point as I do not wish to be perceived as being negative toward the Church. I will only say God is holy. God is pure. God is righteous. He is alone is God. There is none like Him.
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