I read the following yesterday from Ezra chapter 1, verses 1-3. Bear in mind that Cyrus was not a believer. Pay attention to his decree.
"1 NOW IN the first year of Cyrus king of Persia [almost seventy years after the first Jewish captives were taken to Babylon], that the word of the Lord by the mouth of Jeremiah might begin to be accomplished, the Lord stirred up the spirit of Cyrus king of Persia so that he made a proclamation throughout all his kingdom and put it also in writing:
2 Thus says Cyrus king of Persia: The Lord, the God of heaven, has given me all the kingdoms of the earth, and He has charged me to build Him a house at Jerusalem in Judah.
3 Whoever is among you of all His people, may his God be with him, and let him go up to Jerusalem in Judah and rebuild the house of the Lord, the God of Israel, in Jerusalem; He is God."
BAM! That's what hit me: "He is God". I'm not sure how you take that when you read it, and I can't adequately explain the tremendous awe and terror I experienced when I read that. I was initially excited as I agreed He is God! But that excitement was immediately followed by sadness, penitence, and deep sorrow as I realized: Here is an ungodly king who recognizes and fears God, and I, a presumed man of God and a worshiper, am grasping how long it's been since I have felt such fear and awe of God as I had just then. All I could do was to shut my eyes as tightly as possible, bow my head, and appeal to God for His mercy and forgiveness. I felt so small and insignificant at that moment. All I could think of was that I had neglected Him and that He was hurt by it. I believe God opened my spiritual eyes at that moment to realize this. I wanted forgiveness. I wanted mercy. I wanted restoration. I could not move on with my reading of Ezra 1 without knowing I had received these. I began to think of Psalm 51, so I turned to it and read it aloud as my very own prayer. As I read it, I began to feel God's mercy, forgiveness, and restoration being apportioned to me through the Holy Spirit. I thank God for His continued mercy and grace toward me. These two attributes of God are ones I am quite familiar with, but I believe God desires me to become equally aquainted with His other attributes - I am not certain which attributes at this time, but I intend to find out as quickly as possible.
I have been extremely transparent here, hopefully for the benefit of another. These several thoughts come to mind in conclusion of what I have shared. First, all of this I experienced in "the secret place". I do not wish to become a catch-phrase consumer, but it is what it is - a secret place. It is a place and time devoted only to communion and fellowship between God and me. (Read Matthew 6:6) I have accepted the challenge of being a secret place addict, and I will become one. I encourage you to do the same. Second, I must experience the presence, the fear, and the awe of God as often as possible. He is God! I renew my humility with Him and exalt Him above all. I encourage you to do the same. Finally, I keep in mind that his mercy, grace, and loving-kindness endure forever and that my righteousness is in and through Christ and what He did on the cross, not in my deeds. I pray you remember this when condemnation tries to have power over you. (Do not confuse godly sorrow and condemnation.)
I will share at a later time something I found interesting about the secret place and answered prayers. I believe I have found a formula that will get prayers answered 100% of the time. Stay tuned!
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